Will Jason Be Out Trick or Treating?

A trip to the emergency room... later that evening revealed a severe sprain and I was on crutches for several days

By Bill Kalmar, Retiree

Oct. 21, 2001 - October is always an interesting time of the year. In preparation for the beginning of holiday activities, stores began erecting displays for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, and Christmas weeks ago. And let’s not forget “Sweetest Day” which is celebrated on October 15, mainly in the Midwest. All this of course on the heels of just celebrating “Talk Like A Pirate Day” which evidently has become a national event.

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Halloween though seems to have catapulted into second place behind Christmas in so far as being a buying frenzy.

Children used to have the market on Halloween, but now adults have taken the forefront and you can bet that the weekend before this approaching Halloween will be filled with office and bar parties and, of course, the usual home extravaganzas.

Additionally, there seems to be no limit on the expense some people will spend to show up in that one of a kind costume. A store in our community has costumes ranging from about $10 to an enchanted fairy costume selling for $150!

My personal choice would be a Jason costume from the “Friday the 13^th” movie series. Believe it or not though, there is even a costume of the disgraced New York representative Anthony Weiner. As such, I guess he continues to haunt New Yorkers.

Back in my childhood there were few costumes. We usually smudged our faces with blackened burnt cork, put on some old clothes (back then all of our clothes were old!) and carried a sack on a stick over our shoulder – we were hobos.

Many years ago as an adult, I too succumbed to the Halloween craze and bought a rubberized mask of a very ugly cretin. The mask was rather realistic and came with straggly hair, fake blood, snarly teeth and a menacing look.

I had fun scaring the paper boy, and anyone else who came to our door, the week before Halloween. In my mind I was the neighborhood Jason.

To expand the number of victims that I was hoping to scare, I learned that a neighbor of ours was having a Halloween party and had invited many family members including their young children. As such, I thought it would be hilarious to rush the home and frighten everyone.

I went to the front door without my mask on in order to survey the situation. My neighbor’s wife answered the door and I told her of my plans and she informed me that everyone was in the basement.

My plan was to run excitedly down the basement stairs yelling and shouting and bellowing out a loud “Boo”. Walking down slowly would not afford me the commotion I wanted to provide.

So I put on the mask which by the way had small slits for the eyes somewhat hampering my view of the stairs. I then bolted down the steps as fast I could. Unfortunately, I hit the first step and missed all the others which meant I rolled down the stairs and landed flat out on my back at the bottom of the staircase, mask still intact.

Needless to say I scared the hell out of everyone. People were screaming and scrambling and rushed to protect their children from this ogre who had infiltrated their party. I then took off my mask and my neighbor angrily announced to everyone that it was “just my asinine neighbor” - or words to that effect.

When the commotion died down I crept back up the stairs and hobbled home. Seems the tumble down the stairs had twisted my ankle and I had difficulty walking. A trip to the emergency room of the local hospital later that evening revealed a severe sprain and I was on crutches for several days. Despite my injury it was well worth it. My neighbor started talking to me again about a week later.

As I relived the episode in my mind during that painful week after my fall, I recalled all the times Jason had met with accidents. My favorite though was when he was brought back to life via an underwater electrical cable. Sure makes my hobbling on crutches seem inconsequential.

Now time to don my mask. Our paper boy just rang the doorbell. At least I don’t have any stairs to navigate!

In summary, hope your Halloween is loads of fun and void of accidents. And a huge “Boo” to all of you!