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Living the Retired Life
Thank God for Unanswered Prayers! As Garth Brooks
Says, Some of God's Greatest Gifts
'The entire monastery would pray for me and after a
week, if I still felt like leaving, I could'
By Bill Kalmar, Retiree
 Sept.
8, 2010 - Country star Garth Brooks always seems to record songs with
meaning and feeling. Such was the case when he penned “Unanswered
Prayers”. Here is the chorus:
Sometimes
I thank God for unanswered prayers.
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
I mention this because, as school has started for
many in our state, I can hearken back to my own days in parochial school
where fully garbed nuns were the standard. I attended St. John
Berchmans grade school on the east side of Detroit.
Today, like many institutions in the city, it is a
relic of the past. Back when I attended, it was a bustling beehive of
students and parents, who attended the various and numerous activities
associated with the school.
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What I remember most was the emphasis put on
encouraging the boys and girls to pursue a religious career by becoming
a priest or nun. Not a day went by in eighth grade that a nun would not
ask for a show of hands of those who wanted to enter the seminary or
convent. We quickly determined that the show of hands resulted in extra
special treatment from the nuns, along with lesser amounts of homework.
So our hands waved in the air everyday.
Problem was that when we graduated we almost had
guaranteed our submission to religious life. So off I went to Servite
Seminary in Hillside, Illinois, for high school. There were twenty-three
of us in that first year and most were from the Detroit area.
The nuns I left behind stated that they would pray
for me and my friends every day. Each time any of us came home for
vacation we were reminded that along with our parents and relatives,
everyone in the community was praying for us.
After four years of high school in preparation for
the priesthood, those of us who were left - all ten of us - entered
college in Lake Bluff, Illinois. High school was almost like any other
educational process, but now that we were in college the intensity was
turned up a bit. Rising at 5:23 a.m. (yes, to the minute for some reason)
and spending hours in the chapel chanting psalms long before breakfast -
and, then repeating the chanting throughout the day and evening - became
the norm.
Weeklong retreats, where silence was golden,
meaning there was no talking or interactions with others, certainly put
a strain on my heretofore vociferous lifestyle. After about a year, I
decided that the priesthood was no longer my goal and I conveyed that
message to the Novice Master – the priest in charge of us.
To my surprise, astonishment, and dismay, he told
me that I was “not mature enough to make such an important decision” and
thus my request to leave was denied! What! I guess when I was sixteen
and entered the seminary my maturity level was higher than when I
decided to leave at age twenty.
This was something one only reads about in novels,
where nuns who decide to leave the convent had to leap over a wall to
freedom. There were no walls at the major seminary where I was housed,
but having vows of poverty, chastity and obedience meant there were no
coins jingling in my pocket. Thus, any travel plans were incumbent on
the Novice Master.
He then informed me that the entire monastery would
pray for me and after a week, if I still felt like leaving, I could do
so. As it turned out, despite the prayers, at the end of the week I
still decided to depart.
Now, I mention all of this because as the song
reminds us, sometimes unanswered prayers have a greater impact on our
lives than those that are fulfilled. Evidently our Maker had other
plans for me and, thus, any prayers directed toward me somehow were
deflected.
In my case, it meant meeting the love of my life,
my wife, Mary of 46 years, (who I met in the basement of a Catholic
rectory at a Young Adult Club meeting). This led to having three
wonderful children, along with their spouses, and eleven special
grandchildren, all of whom bring us excitement, pleasure, and
exhilaration.
As Garth wrote – “some of God’s greatest gifts are
unanswered prayers!” and I am a firm believer!
In closing, there are several things I want to
mention.
Out of the twenty-three of us who studied together
for the priesthood, only one person was ordained. Had I stayed the
course, since I am Italian, there is no doubt that I would have been a
candidate for Pope, although wearing the customary red patent leather
pumps would have been a stretch for me.
As poet Robert Frost said: “Two roads diverged in
a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all
the difference”.
I took that road and have never looked back!
Now I don’t want to discount the power of prayer,
nor the importance of religious life, but in my case those unanswered
prayers have brought me joy and success and, thus, I am thankful.
Maybe raising my hand in eighth grade was not such
a bad idea after all. It afforded me experiences and opportunities that
perhaps I never would have contemplated, and brought me to a stage in
life that is very satisfying, where everyday is a new adventure with my
friends and family.
What more could one pray for?
Bill Kalmar is retired in Lake Orion, Michigan,
and is the former Director of the Michigan Quality Council. He is a
frequent contributor to SeniorJournal.com. His opinions are his own.
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