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Ten Tips for Baby Boomers on Interacting with Aging
Parents
May 24, 2005 - Watching parents grow older can be
an emotional drain on adult children. This is especially difficult for
those who still want to see their mother and father as vibrant, active,
middle-aged individuals.
"Parent aging is often a psychological wake-up call
for baby boomers as it reminds them that they too are aging," says
Timothy Schwab, M.D., chief medical officer of SCAN Health Plan. "It's
the time when boomers first see their children start on a life path of
their own and are dealing with the reality that their parents are no
longer as physically or mentally as sharp as they once were."
According to Dr. Schwab, it is not only important
that adult children recognize and appreciate these changes, but they
need to ask themselves "how can I help my parents remain strong and
independent for as long as possible?"
Here are ten things adult children should keep in
mind as they interact with their aging parents:
1. Over half of all people over 65 experience some hearing loss. If
that's happening to your parents, try speaking in a slightly louder
tone
(but don't shout) and in a lower pitch, since high frequency
sounds
become harder to hear. Be careful to not drop off sounds at
the end
of a sentence and make sure you face your parent directly
when
speaking so they can see your lips and gestures.
2. Older adults should have a complete eye exam every 1-2 years.
Speak with your parents regularly about their eyesight. If their sight
is beginning to worsen, encourage them to try prescription reading
glasses, large-print reading materials or magnifying aids.
3. More than one third of adults aged 65 years or older fall each
year.
If balance or strength is fading, make sure your parents tell
their
doctor and, if necessary, get the right kind of cane, walker
or
wheelchair. Also check their house for tripping hazards such
as
loose rugs or poorly placed extension cords and install grab
bars
and non-slip rubber mats in the tub or shower.
4. Arthritis can be managed. A doctor's treatment plan may include a
combination of medication, weight management, range of motion
exercises, and any number of methods to protect their joints
from
further damage. If your parents have trouble handling
household
items, adaptive equipment -- such as wide holders for
toothbrushes
and pens and easier tops for pill containers -- can be
helpful.
5. Changing patterns in eating or sleeping -- or a loss of interest in
activities that once brought pleasure -- can be signs of
depression.
Be sure to have these symptoms evaluated by your parent's
physician.
6. Older people may continue to be very sharp mentally, but may have
less ability to hold a lot of information in their minds at
one
time. For that reason it's a good idea to limit your
statements to
one idea at a time and to avoid jargon or technical terms
(such as
computer speak), which may be common to your generation but
foreign
to theirs. When your parent is talking, be patient and don't
interrupt. The first thing said may not be the most important
thing
on their mind, and once interrupted they may not return to the
pressing issue.
7. Minor memory loss is normal. If your parent is dealing with some
memory loss, keep questions simple and avoid multiple choices.
Politely ask them to repeat back to you important information
so you
know that it has not only been heard, but has been understood
as
well. If you feel they have more than minor forgetfulness,
make
sure their doctor knows and can evaluate them further if
necessary.
8. Alzheimer's disease or dementia both lead to a gradual decline in
performing daily activities. If this is the case, children
can help
develop a familiar routine for their loved one, planning these
routines around the times of the day when the parent is less
confused or more cooperative. Caring for a person with
Alzheimer's
disease can become overwhelming, so find a support group where
you
can share your feelings and learn more about caring for a
parent in
this state.
9. There are caregiver options. Discuss with your parents and
siblings
your parents' caregiving needs. Find ways for each family
member to
provide support, and don't be shy about involving a geriatric
care
manager, clergy member or family counselor when their
participation
would be helpful.
10. It is important to have physicians with whom your parents are
comfortable with and trust. It is also important to have a
health
plan that will best support your parent by providing health
management programs and practical support services that don't
drain
the family financially and allow your parents to remain
independent
and in their own home as long as
possible.
"Love and patience goes a long way," says Dr. Schwab. "With greater
understanding of the aging process, adult children can nurture their
family bond while helping their aging parents maintain the dignity and
quality of life they richly deserve."
SCAN Health Plan is one of California's
fastest-growing senior-focused health plans currently serving nearly
70,000 Medicare-eligible individuals in Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside,
San Bernardino and Ventura counties. Since its founding nearly 30 years
ago, SCAN has demonstrated a unique passion for finding innovative ways
to enhance its members' abilities to manage their own health and
continue to control how and where they live. Further information may be
obtained at
www.scanhealthplan.com.
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